21.1.09

Excited to start knocking...

It's up to God - he knows.

Really weird - I can't actually even say the 'o' word yet. It's making for some really bizarre conversations or none at all - because I can't speak the words - I'm weird. If you don't know what I'm talking about - that's okay...

Finished Church Fathers stuff - would love to look at modern heresies but perhaps actually they haven't really changed in 2000 years and that's why we aren't covering them - I wonder if there are any new one!?

3 comments:

Crunch said...

Hi Rachel,
Are you speaking to anyone 'official' about the 'o' word yet or to a spiritual director if you aren't ready for the DDO or vocations advisor?? Just wondering where you were up to?

Gill

Rachel said...

Funny you should ask - just read your post after having left a message on the vocations officer's answer-phone, asking her if we can pick up where we last left off.

She went on sick leave after I saw her about a year ago. I've got the best excuse to see her again because I need to return to her lots of books. I think I can see a way forward, that if I can combine the next two years of study with the journey to BAP, I might then be able to continue after the two years with whatever remaining training would be required to satisfy ordination requirements. The children will be two or three years older by then so they will perhaps cope better with a little more unpredictability. To be honest, I just don't know what the future holds but I think I've got to the point of desperation, where I am just prepared to do what I have to do - change schools, houses etc. It seems as if my husband is coming around to that way of thinking too - I'm prepared now to just let God open or close doors as he sees fit. What a relief. I just hope as a family we can all hang in there together. It's quite frightening!

Rachel

Crunch said...

Everyone I have spoken to finds it is a bumpy ride but it is potentially so exciting and fulfilling too. I'm on placement at the moment and loving it (second year out of three before ordination). Every time I find mysef in a 'ministerial' situation however diverse it feels absolutley right...difficult to explain but true. Praying for your discernment (and for those churny stomach days too!!)
x

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