Undeveloped thoughts on 'The Liberating Crisis'

I came up with this phrase this morning and there is much more thinking that I need to do about this, but if I waffle it through here, I can come back to it and develop it (reason 91 to keep on blogging, although you might come to different conclusions regarding your reading).

Anyway, once again we have been thinking about 'a rule of life'.

So when things are outside our control and our rule of life is broken, how might we feel about this?

How much are our rules of life really about God, we might need to ask ourselves this kind of question frequently in order to prevent ourselves from serving the rule rather than God, or serving a shadow by serving the rule which does not actually mean we are serving the reality of God.

Now, might it be that God breaks in to break our rule, for was it his rule in the first place?

When God breaks in, we are helpless and have to depend on him.

The inner struggle of my will is negated in this impressing of a reality that is so much bigger than my own sense of what constitutes reality.

Reality has otherwise been what I consider real, now when God breaks in what he considers real confronts me.

His breaking in (in the form of someone else's acute need, or even, dare I say it, not wanting to be accused of Pantheism, in this weather we have been having) prioritises, re-orders, demands all of me in a way that the details of my life, over which I was previously in control, did not demand of me, for is that not the reason I created a rule for my life, so that I could manage it?

Now I do not manage, I am not in charge, God is. This is the crisis of liberation, for in that crisis I am truly free, to be, in the confrontation of the crisis, really who I am, seeing more of God, living in the very presence of the present moment. 

How much are we domesticating God, managing God, alloting God a portion when we create a rule of life, in which at set times we attune ourselves to his will and our praise of him, if at other times, we consult him never at all? Is it because human nature is so limited that we can only serve him in this way?

We yearn to serve him with every fibre, every second. Are we? How is that possible? Is it possible?