The Bible is so cheeky ;)


Now we have to deal with a lot of the above. I wonder sometimes if someone should design a cover and sell the Old Testament on its own, just as an option. I have a Gideon bible I was presented with when I was 14 and it only contains the NT and the Psalms and there was little outrage that the OT was not there.

Now, for this OT edition the jacket would reveal just how steamy some of the stuff is just so we might attract some of the Glitzy Chick-lit readers who wouldn't in a million years think to start reading the OT. The jacket blurb would perhaps single out some of the quotes from the book of Ruth and leave it all a little enigmatic so that readers can't wait to start turning pages.

This would be a good bit to quote:
When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down.

There is one bit of the OT, which perhaps more than any part (although lots of parts make me feel quite sick) makes me squirm and cross my legs and that would be the bit below from Exodus 4:24-26

24 At a lodging place on the way, the LORD met {Moses} and was about to kill him. 25 But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son's foreskin and touched {Moses'} feet with it. [b] "Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me," she said. 26 So the LORD let him alone. (At that time she said "bridegroom of blood," referring to circumcision.)

Zipporah, Moses' wife has acted very quickly here to avert disaster by circumcising her son and tricking Yahweh into thinking that Moses too has been circumcised (tricked? Yes, this creates theological difficulties, but anyway) by touching the bloody skin to Moses 'private regions', for which 'feet' of course, is a euphemism. But if feet is a euphemism then we discover that the actions of Ruth with Boaz were actually a little more risque than we might have thought!

Well, they say sex sells. Perhaps if people out on the street were more aware of just how racy the OT is, they would read it.

Of course Song of Solomon is where you really find the passion, but I'll leave analysis of that to Mark Driscoll, who has probably done a lot to promote people's interest in it!! ;)

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