7.4.09

Having a vulnerable moment

Need a little prayer please, actually make that a lot.

I've just read through the 'Going to a Bishops Advisory Panel' booklet and I'm feeling over-awed. Can I really satisfy all of those selection-criteria? Can I present an interesting item for debate? What am I going to write about for my theological reflection? How practical or theological should it be? Should it be about something local? Should it be about something I've lead or been involved in? If I write about ministry with youth or children, am I going to get pigeon-holed? I don't feel a calling to youth and family work but this is the type of work I've been most involved in to date. How do I convey a calling to ordained ministry through this reflection? Do I need to do that here? I'm going to have to complete A Personal Inventory, give a presentation and be interviewed about three times or more at BAP. It all sounds so gruelling.

Why is it all suddenly happening so quickly? Am I ready?

I have all the passion, the willingness to surrender my life to all this and follow God's lead but can this person – me, satisfy those people – them (BAP) and if I do not, what will happen to me? I think I am having a bit of a panic. Time to go to bed with much prayer before-hand – oh – and a bowl of 'Rice-crispies' – that always helps :)


NOTES TO SELF

I need to make sure that my requirement to write on the atonement for college doesn't eclipse my preparation for Bap.

I need to make sure that my requirement to prepare for Bap doesn't eclipse my journeying to know God through prayer and Bible study.

I need to make sure that my desire to journey to know God through prayer and Bible study, doesn't actually prevent me from spending time with the people who are made in his image - my friends and family or stay too long with the books instead of outside in the splendour of his creation.


3 comments:

DaveW said...

"Can I present an interesting item for debate?"

Could you take the use of your blog for learning, research, sharing, exploring in the open with a wide variety of people as a topic for debate?

Just an idea.

As for the rest, prayers in motion :-)

Dave

PS Oh and be glad you are not a Methodist, our process is even worse. But even I got through so that should give you hope.

Anonymous said...

It's pretty simple. They're not interested in your topic or anything else you prepare. They're interested in seeing you. You can safely choose the wrong topic, or present it badly or mess up in any number of ways. What matters is the person, not the homework. If they're any good as selectors, they'll see through you (in the best sense). A wrong candidate who performs well should be rejected. A right candidate who makes a botch should be recommended. It's your capacity to understand that's on show, not your understanding. If it's any comfort, I'm prepared to bet ten bob that you get recommended.

Rachel said...

Thank you so much.
I had the weirdest dream last night re BAP. The Bishop on the panel didn't believe in the ordination of women so I knew I was going to be really put through it. Each time I came back into the room that I'd been given to prepare my papers, they had been all blown about by the wind and my husband was trying his best to put them back into neat piles again. For some reason the panel wanted to me to complete a pencil drawing of a super-hero and I thought I should draw spiderman. They then wanted me to write out in my own words and in an artistic style some slogans which they had printed off from the computer. I expected them to be words from the Bible but they weren't, they were just random every-day phrases. It was all very weird.

Nevertheless, I woke up feeling a bit better about everything.

Thank you for your help. Loads.

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