Need a little prayer please, actually make that a lot.
I've just read through the 'Going to a Bishops Advisory Panel' booklet and I'm feeling over-awed. Can I really satisfy all of those selection-criteria? Can I present an interesting item for debate? What am I going to write about for my theological reflection? How practical or theological should it be? Should it be about something local? Should it be about something I've lead or been involved in? If I write about ministry with youth or children, am I going to get pigeon-holed? I don't feel a calling to youth and family work but this is the type of work I've been most involved in to date. How do I convey a calling to ordained ministry through this reflection? Do I need to do that here? I'm going to have to complete A Personal Inventory, give a presentation and be interviewed about three times or more at BAP. It all sounds so gruelling.
Why is it all suddenly happening so quickly? Am I ready?
I have all the passion, the willingness to surrender my life to all this and follow God's lead but can this person – me, satisfy those people – them (BAP) and if I do not, what will happen to me? I think I am having a bit of a panic. Time to go to bed with much prayer before-hand – oh – and a bowl of 'Rice-crispies' – that always helps :)
NOTES TO SELF
I need to make sure that my requirement to write on the atonement for college doesn't eclipse my preparation for Bap.
I need to make sure that my requirement to prepare for Bap doesn't eclipse my journeying to know God through prayer and Bible study.
I need to make sure that my desire to journey to know God through prayer and Bible study, doesn't actually prevent me from spending time with the people who are made in his image - my friends and family or stay too long with the books instead of outside in the splendour of his creation.