Wow - so good to be home. Being away and in very cramped conditions really makes you appreciate the home you've carved out for yourself. Dorothy was right - there really is no place like home! But, I return renewed. We spent a fabulous day in the wind, on a boat in the estuary. I had a moment quite alone - strange as this may sound, surrounded by people but I really was alone for a good ten minutes. (This is quite rare in my life and not something I ever thought I was even needing - alone-time!). My girls had been taken to buy sweets and the men were at the helm - don't go freudian on me - they just were. Anyway, the wind was blowing so strongly I couldn't have heard a word they were saying - it was just me and the wind and the water and I think I dropped the anchor of my angst right down into the bottom of the sea or it was at the very least just blown clear away. I've returned home to wide open spaces and huge potentials, to vastness and complexity and variance and that things don't need to be all wrapped up with bows on top - to postcards in the downstairs loo tht reveal that people I know are all over the world leading varied lives, that lives are complicted as family news reveals today, that in my trying to wrap up all the loose ends of my theological standpoints is just plain ridiculous - that God is so much more incredibly hugely big than what the Parish where I live teaches, than what my school taught, than what the comon prayer book reveals, or dare I even say it - than what the Bible reveals. Thank you Lord, you're at the helm of my life and only you know where it's going, I have to stop wrestling you for the wheel and just let you steer, it will be blowy at times and the rain might pour down but there are openings between the clouds and the light of your glory shines through it all. I will hang on to the sides and enjoy the ride.