Things I did learn this week

1) That despite what St Paul says, you really can not please all of the people all of the time.

2) That churches in the same parish have very different cultures, you might as well be in another part of the country.

3) That kids who look old enough to be down the pub rather than at your Light and Hope Alternative Hallowe'en party, really do want to play hide and seek in a 'glowing-in-the-dark' church and play 'apple-bobbing.'

4) That I seriously love kids church and get to engage with God whilst singing fab, upbeat, joy-filled kids' worship songs. Give me that rather than the traditional stuff any day of the week.

5) That I am always going to be a restless priest and resist the idea that this piece of white plastic gives me authority. I understand authority you earn or authority that is yours as you stand in the authority of Christ. Do I need to do some more thinking about the institution in which I live out my faith?

6) Give me preaching over leading any day of the week - all that stand up, sit down stuff just plays havoc with my lack of spatial awareness and poor choreography skills.

7) That candle-tapers carry on smoking long after you think that you have blown them out, and need to be extinguished carefully.

8) That members of the youth group, who ask you to put your finger on a light in the corner of the church upon which they have balanced a range of objects, are looking to electrocute the curate!

9) That every now and then I am going to need to drive for absolutely no reason at all, to no particular destination at all, along a dual carriage-way as fast as my conscience will allow me, simply to scream and pray very loudly.

10) There are a lot more things that I am going to learn.