TOP TEN CURATE SURVIVAL

What I have learnt in my first two weeks:

If in doubt, just smile

1. Turn up to church ten minutes early, then if you are at the wrong church, you can still make it to the right one and no one will notice
2. Eat plenty of breakfast before downing half a pint of remaining communion wine on a Sunday morning
3. Accept the 'you can't remember my name game' - ask for the first letter, they will not mind
4. Just use a loud voice, they might think you know what you're talking about (not convinced this really works)
5. Go to short meetings via long journeys so you can tell God exactly what you're feeling to some very loud music on the way and way back
6. Be prepared to drink a lot of tea and have strategies ready for the polite refusal of cake if it's your third slice that day
7. Try the informal/formal look by pushing your dog collar into your shirt with just a little sticking out and your collar turned back - this says 'Yes, I am the new curate but hey, I know how to have fun!' (Maybe)
8. Send google diary to your phone and you'll always know what's coming up next with its reminder settings
9. Make friends with the owners of a very nice coffee shop who will be happy for you to work there between appointments
10. Keep up with the latest songs so that 'My God is a great big God' - gets supplemented with some other alternatives - ban your own kids from singing the classics around the house ...

Actually - I really love it!