Very vivid dreams ...
Last night I had very vivid dreams. There was very rocky ground, rubble and shale and I knew that the ground, if I stepped on it would move all around me. As I looked at the ground and gripped the hands of my children, I said to them that it would be alright if they had faith. They nodded and so we stepped forward, expecting our feet to slip and preparing ourselves for a fall but as we stepped our bodies elevated just a little, a few feet and we were hovering/flying just above the ground. It's the faith keeping us up I told the children so just keep believing and they nodded and we continued on like this over ground that gave way to what might habe been sea beneath and over rubble-land where houses lay in piles. We were in a warm country. Other people were there and afraid and slipping all around us on now what was very chalky coloured rubble, interspersed with bigger stones and fissures all falling away into something I couldn't quite make out below and I was shouting at them - it's just faith, it's not me, I don't do it, it's just faith that keeps us up, you can do it too, have faith ...and people from everywhere began to travel with us, and we were all just hovering and yet this was quite normal and yet also very wonderful...and then the scene changed and I was in a city-scape, some kind of outside bar and there was loud music and people there, they were scruffy and hung-over and there was a menacing feeling about the place, desperate and depressing. There was a girl there and she had a baby to care for but she was so young and so desperate and alone and her dark hair was scraped back and her eyes were hollow and her face was tear-stained. She wore a blue denim jacket. I couldn't get near her. I was trying to get to her but there were too many people in the way. I was trying to talk to her but the music was too loud and then suddenly I was beside her and the music was gone and she was reaching up to reach a bottle from a shelf and time seemed to freeze. I reached out with both my hands and held them gently aloft, one at each side of her. I didn't touch her and I prayed and prayed and prayed for her. And time was still frozen with her reaching up and I became aware that everything in the bar had frozen in time and so no-one was aware of what I was doing and I had no need to be self-conscious. I was the only person moving, speaking in prayer, and then I sensed she was receiving the spirit of God, something was changing and I started to worry that she would become unfrozen and turn around and ask me to stop praying but she didn't and then I put my arms down and as I did time became unstuck and I looked at the girl and she looked at me and there was a change there and I was about to speak to her but I woke up.
These dreams have stayed with me all day today. We had cousins Dan and Anna visiting and lots of interesting conversations over lunch and a walk. On the way back from our pub lunch, we walked through the field near our house and the ground was so treacherously muddy and boggy and just oozing and marked by the footprints of wellington boots and dog paws and I slipped and fell, one hand landing in the thick mud. I wished that I could have done what I could do in my dream and as we navigated our way down thin, muddy tracks and steep mud-covered steps, I held tightly onto Franny's hand and said it's okay, we'll be fine... So weird.
Ordained Anglican. Thinking out loud about church.