22.12.08

Day two of the makeover

Well, it's day 2 and I'm hanging in there! We're still with Proverbs 31 and we're looking at some examples of counter-cultural women. Here's a quote from a much-enamoured husband:

Get ready to hear about some counter-cultural women.

"I would say my wife is very much a servant. I’m indebted to her for her loyalty.

You help balance me out. You help me see things that I wouldn’t notice on my own.

In fact, when we were engaged I thought, “This is the kind of woman I want to marry.”

She’s gone above and beyond to build into our relationship.

I love to hear her sing songs with our kids.

Our daughters turned out like their mom. And if my son can find a wife like her, I’ll be thrilled."

Servant? Oh dear! Loyalty - she sounds like a pet labrador, doesn't she? When you're engaged, you're supposed to think - this is the woman I want to marry - aren't you - otherwise you wouldn't be engaged - a strange tautology! Is she counter-cultural? Emmm!

We're looking at verses 10-31 and the men who feel that their wives model this woman's behaviour. One man writes:

This is to honor my wife Jeanette. She is constantly dying to herself and her own needs and desires to serve me and to serve our children.

I'm not sure I serve my husband as I serve my children. Am I supposed to? Is that what God wants of me? My husband and I are a team and we both serve our children - ie we wash their clothes, cook their meals, educate them, spiritually guide them, facilitate their play-time etc. But our marriage isn't built on my service to my husband but our service to each other. He puts me first and I put him first. He does certain things and I do others. He fixes breakfast, I fix tea. Lunch is often a joint effort when we're both around. I wash generally and he irons - he's quicker. We both garden and shop - we quite often clean bathrooms together. Are we very unusual? I help him with his work when I can - he's a computer progammer and I can't code but I help to proof-read reports, CVs etc, he listens to my assignments, helps me with kids/youth ministry tasks etc, listens to my lesson plans if I supply-teach.

Despite Mary’s chronic pain and fatigue, she’s diligent and dependable. I seldom have to be home and miss work even though she’s not feeling well.

Oh my goodness, I remember listening to a friend tell me once how when unwell with a chronic migraine she would literally crawl around the house, caring for a baby and a toddler, counting down the hours until her husband returned.

I have such an opposite story to tell, the other morning, I nearly passed out in the bathroom with a 24hr stomach bug and didn't hesitate but to phone my husband up straight away, even though he'd only just arrived in the office car-park after an hour commute, he just put the key in the ignition again and turned right home and drove back again to help me look after the children.

she makes sure that everything is organized so that each of our girls gets to the right place at the right time and that dad does too.

When does serving become controlling? I wouldn't organise my husband's schedule for him - he does that.

Again, there was some good stuff and the preacher does remind her women to prize God's praises above and beyond the opinions of men but still much that perturbs.

1 comment:

Lynne said...

EEK! I knew i wasn't a true woman, or wasn't truly a woman or ... whatever. Seriously, I tried to be like that the first few years we were married (because I'd been taught to)and it nearly destroyed me. Christlikeness is a call on both spouses, not just the female ones!

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A little background reading on the two theological integrities in the Church of England regarding women in ministry.